Calm Under Pressure: Why Some People Stay Steady While Others Spiral

Have you ever noticed how some people remain completely unflustered, even when chaos erupts around them? Meanwhile, you might feel your heart racing, palms sweating, or mind spiralling over the smallest thing. Why does stress hit some harder than others?

The answer isn’t just personality, it’s biology. Our nervous system, the body’s control centre for stress and relaxation, plays a huge role in how we respond to life’s pressures. The autonomic nervous system regulates processes we don’t consciously think about: heartbeat, digestion, breathing. It has two main parts. The sympathetic nervous system triggers the “fight or flight” response, spiking adrenaline and cortisol when we sense danger, or even perceived danger. The parasympathetic nervous system is the “rest and digest” system, helping us calm down, restore energy, and recover.

People who appear calm under pressure often have a nervous system that can switch quickly between these two states or naturally lean toward parasympathetic activity. Their bodies don’t overreact to minor stressors, so they stay composed where others might panic.

Early experiences shape how our nervous systems handle stress. Children who grow up with consistent, predictable care often develop a nervous system that self-regulates easily. Children exposed to chronic stress, neglect, or trauma may have a heightened stress response, keeping their bodies on high alert and making it harder to stay calm in adulthood. This isn’t about blame or weakness, it’s about patterns the body learned, and patterns can change.

The good news is that resilience can be built. Practices like yoga, mindful movement, breathwork, and meditation train the body to return to calm after stress. Over time, the nervous system learns that stress comes and goes, and you survive it. Resilience isn’t about suppressing emotions, it’s about noticing when your body is reacting and guiding it back to balance. Even if you weren’t “born calm,” you can cultivate it, with consistent practices and patience.

So next time you see someone calm under pressure, remember: it’s biology, life experience, and often intentional practice. The best part is that you can become your own steady presence too: calm, resilient, and grounded.

Naomi Hurst